can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
