Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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