I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
