I swear she didn't look like that last week.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize