And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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