The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
