you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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