that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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