is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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