It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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