I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
