this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
