dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
