I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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