i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
