How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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