love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
