i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
