She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize