I am in a vortex of obligation.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
