How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
