Dual....:-)
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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