so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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