Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
