So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
