I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize