And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
