I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
