Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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