Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
