the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
