I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
