At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
