Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
