She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
