susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
