I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
