What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
