no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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