she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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