im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
