Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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