So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
