I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
