i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
