Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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