One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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