Cold hands, warm shart.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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