i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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