Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
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