why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
