I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
