do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
