yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize