me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
