So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
