He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
